New mothers only have about an hour out of their waking day for rest, according to new research by our psychologists.
The study also shows that time ‘alone’ for new mothers is now always with their baby present and this time is rarely restful.
Instead, it is filled with non-stop chores and emotional overload leading to increased stress, loneliness and emotional exhaustion.
When mothers had even small amounts of quality me-time - where they were not looking after the baby or working for example - they felt better.
The researchers say their findings highlight the need for greater support to help parents get more quality me-time or at least breaks from childcare and chores.
They suggest looking to other countries where there are examples of government-subsidised services that assist with chores and cooking. This kind of support could help ease the burden for new parents, especially those without support nearby.
The mothers in the study said that being alone with a baby doesn’t always feel like true solitude. For many, it’s a mix of feeling isolated, responsible, and constantly on alert - even when no one else is around.
On average, the mothers in the study had less than a third of their day for ‘personal time,’ scattered in short bursts. This time included things like showering, eating, or walking, usually done quickly and often with interruptions. The constant physical and mental multi-tasking left many feeling deprived of true me-time.
Many mothers feel like they are "always on", even during supposed breaks. The emotional and mental demands of caring for a baby, combined with the loss of meaningful alone time, can increase feelings of loneliness and make it harder to recover from daily stress.
The largest share of mothers’ days, around 60 per cent, was spent at home, much of it devoted to childcare, which took clear priority. Personal time often overlapped with chores, errands, and occasional social activities, while rest and relaxation tended to fall to the bottom of the list.
The study also showed that loneliness in new mothers isn’t always about the lack of people around you. It can come from a loss of personal identity, lack of meaningful social connections, or simply from feeling unsupported. This is especially true for single mothers, those without family support, or those whose babies have additional needs.
/prod01/prodbucket01/media/durham-university/central-news-and-events-images/83431-1920X290.jpg)